Я часто вижу страх в смотрящих на меня глазах.... ©
Английский язык, много букв. ОЧЕНЬ МНОГО БУКВ!Noticing that Kamamoto was following him from behind, Totsuka turned around while running.
“Oh, you’re coming with me?” In response to Totsuka’s calm voice, Kamamoto exasperatedly went ‘for goodness’s sake!’.
“Yata-san said to go with Totsuka, since there’s might be more blues or fighters around!”
“I see, so you guys were worried about me. Thanks… but, from here on we’re going to be going in a dangerous direction on purpose, okay?”
“Okay!?”
Totsuka looked at the Strain boy who was running along with them half-pulled.
“Would the ‘Mizuchi-san’ you were about to mention earlier happen to be the one in charge here?”
In response to Totsuka’s question, the Strain boy who was still looking like he didn’t really get what was going on and blinking in surprise, nodded.
“Yeah, but…”
“Then, could you take us to where that Mizuchi-san is?”
“Totsuka-san!?” Kamamoto raised his voice wildly.
“Weren’t we going to run away!?”
“Well…”
“Don’t ‘well…’ me!”
Totsuka turned his smile towards Kamamoto, who was acting nervous.
“Kamamoto, would you go ahead and escape?”
“I don’t want to!” Before asking why, Kamamoto wrinkled his eyebrows and yelled. Looking at that, Totsuka let out a little laugh.
“…I think those twins have power rivaling FushimiYata. Considering their personalities… especially Yata’s personality, I can’t really think they’ll run away. But, if the fight lasts long, other fighters should come running. If that happened, then no matter how strong Fushimi and Yata are, it’s only a matter of time until they get caught.”
“So, you’re going to settle things directly with this place’s boss?”
Totsuka responded with a smile to Kamamoto’s shallow one.
“It’s not that big of a deal. We’re just going to see the other side’s attitude… so, even if they’re are aggressive, I don’t intend to fight back, so you don’t need to protect me, but… do you still not want to escape first?”
Kamamoto put on a sulky face.
“Is it Homura’s style to say oh okay and run away alone, leaving their comrades behind after being told that?”
Totsuka couldn’t help but blink several times and look at Kamamoto’s (who was running alongside him) face.
After about a couple of seconds, he couldn’t help but smile a bit and said,
“Sorry.”
Even as they talked, the three of them ran through hallways and up staircases all the way up to the top floor. The Strain boy who was leading them still looked like he was confused, but he didn’t seem like he was going to leave them and run away.
“Sorry for dragging you into this, too.”
When Totsuka spoke to him, the Strain boy looked like he got ahold of himself.
“Seriously! Why am I just obediently showing you guys the way!?”
“Ahaha, sorry, sorry. Come to ‘HOMRA’ the bar after you leave the Center. I’ll treat you to some alcohol or something.”
“I’m a minor!”
“‘Homra’ has good curry, too.”
“Somehow, this doesn’t feel worth it!”
While having a conversation that didn’t suit the situation, the Strain boy pointed at the next turn in the hallway.
“After that, there’s a room where the Center’s workers meet up. I don’t know whether Mizuchi-san is there or not, but…”
As the boy was saying that, Totsuka and company reached the corner.
Turned.
Suddenly, blue was right in front of his eyes.
Blue clothes.
Right as he registered that, Totsuka’s body went flying.
When he realized he had lightly had his arm grabbed and been tossed, he had already been thrown to the floor. Then he was immediately pulled back up, and had his knees forced to the ground while his arm was twisted around.
“Totsuka-san!” Kamamoto yelled.
Totsuka looked up while he was pinned down by his arm.
He could see a nervous-looking Kamamoto. Moving his neck, he could see a pair of feet wearing black leather shoes. He raised his eyes. Black slacks, a stainless white coat, a golden necklace that looked like a nametag, and finally, the deeply-chiseled face of a man in his thirties.
“I was informed that there were intruders.” That man spoke with a smile. His speech was calm, but underneath that could be felt a freezing cold temperature.
“Who is in charge?”
“Technically me, I guess?”
Still wearing a soft expression, the man in the white coat said haughtily,
“Name yourself.”
“Clansman of Suou Mikoto the third king, Totsuka Tatara.”
Some slight scorn crossed the cheeks of the man who had been making a kind-looking expression.
“…aah, I know your name. I believe, even though you’re one of the first clansmen, you have unsuitably low abilities…”
“Haha, that’s not a very nice way of remembering me.”
After smiling wryly, Totsuka abruptly changed his expression. From his usual smile, to a blank face.
“Are you Mizuchi-san?”
The man narrowed his eyes. Because of his deeply chiseled features, a dark shadow fell on his eyes.
“Correct. I am this Center’s head, and the second King, Kokujyouji Daikaku’s clansman, Mizuchi Koushi.”
After naming himself, Mizuchi glanced at the Strain boy. Totsuka, who was being held down, couldn’t see the boy, but from how his breathing was upset, Totsuka could tell he was very uneasy.
“We threatened that Strain over there into bringing us here.”
When Totsuka said that, Mizuchi gestured with his chin.
“Go.”
After a short, hesitating pause, Totsuka heard footsteps running away.
“So? If you have some sort of excuse, I’ll listen.”
“You know a kid named Kushina Anna, right?”
When asked directly, Mizuchi’s eyebrows raised a little.
“…what about her?”
“That kid, she can’t be called unrelated to us… last night, our members had a fight with some blue clansmen who seemed to be keeping watch on her.”
“I’ve heard the report. But, what of it? When returning a dangerous, young Strain to society temporarily, we put surveillance on them in case anything happens. Such preventative measures are a matter of course.”
“But, we found it suspicious.”
There was a momentary silence.
As if to say that’s his base expression, Mizuchi was constantly smiling faintly. Still looking that way, he looked behind Totsuka. Towards the person twisting his arm, most likely.
“…the ones in charge of watching Kushina-kun yesterday were the Minato brothers, correct?”
“Yes.” Replied the person behind Totsuka. Because about the only thing that entered his head when he bumped into the other person at the corner was their blue clothes, he hadn’t been able to tell what sort they were, but judging by their voice, they weren’t someone young. Their voice had root, but it was dry and scratchy.
Mizuchi nodded after hearing the reply from the person holding Totsuka down.
“Yesterday, the ones who came in contact with your clansmen were, shall we say, ones who have some slight faults in their personality. Surely what made you suspicious was that… however, it’s extremely misguided to suspect the Center because of that. Just because the guards used were bad, it doesn’t make sense to suspect the work of the one hiring them, does it?”
The hand holding Totsuka down wavered very slightly. In his heart, he felt sympathetic. It was impossible to stay calm while being shamefully treated like another clan’s member’s security guards.
“…The red clan wishes to take that child.”
In response to what Totsuka said, Mizuchi froze.
“…what?”
“If I said that, what would you do?”
Mizuchi spat out a laugh.
“Ridiculous. She’s a difficult Strain. There is no way the red clan which has violence as its creed could protect her. I am the one who will protect her future.”
“But, if that child were to choose us, you wouldn’t have the right to stop it, would you?”
“She will not choose someone like you people.”
Totsuka closed his mouth momentarily at Mizuchi’s completely confident words.
“In any case, you people are criminals who invaded another king’s territory. Rather than that nonsense, shouldn’t you be trying to do something about yourselves?”
Behind him, Totsuka could hear Kamamoto swallow. His nervousness got across, so Totsuka, in contrast, loosened the strings on his feelings.
“Are you going to punish us?”
Mizuchi seemed to be lost for words for a moment at Totsuka’s soft question.
“…I probably should.”
Totsuka nodded slowly to that response.
“That’s fine.”
He turned to Mizuchi and smiled his usual smile.
“In order to punish another king’s clansman, proper formalities need to be observed… what I want to know is if you can do something like that openly without anything to hide.”
Mizuchi’s temple wrinkled a bit. Totsuka could hear Kamamoto rebukingly say “Totsuka-san” in a muffled voice. A short silence fell. After sighing slightly, Mizuchi looked at the man in blue who was holding Totsuka.
The next moment.
The guy in blue who was twisting Totsuka’s arm up from behind increased the strength in his hand. A tight sound came from inside Totsuka’s body. In response to the acute pain running through his shoulder, Totsuka bit back the voice he almost let out. He ended up biting his lip, and the flavor of blood spread through his mouth.
“Totsuka-san!”
Totsuka used his free hand to stop Kamamoto, who was about to run over. His muscles kept creaking audibly. His shoulder was being pulled up and twisted in an unnatural direction. Unable to bear the force being put into it, the shoulder’s bones and sinew were screaming. Despite the pain of nearly having his snapped, and despite sweating a bit from the feeling of dread, Totsuka endured the pain to look up at Mizuchi. Mizuchi watched emotionlessly, as though looking at data. Totsuka felt a chill seeing those eyes that had something like an ingratiating smile stuck to them.
In order to punish another king’s clansman, proper formalities were needed. That was fact. However, it was possible to do something about that by just staying quiet (and anyway, Homura wouldn’t do something that troublesome and would just pay their debts by their own rules). However, due to their nature, the golden clan had to be an example amongst the seven kings. They should have a responsibility to follow the rules more than anyone else. That was likely why they were silently causing pain to Totsuka while waiting for him to acknowledge his fault and beg for help.
Totsuka gave up on his shoulder and stayed quiet. A difficult to bear silence filled only with the sound of muscles creaking fell. The pain from his shoulder to his elbow began to numb.
If that silence had continued any longer, either the strength of Totsuka’s bones or Kamamoto’s ability to stand it probably would have reached their limit. But, the one who spoke first was Mizuchi.
“…I am the greatest and most powerful golden king’s clansman. Of course I have nothing to hide. This center is also being properly managed under the observation of the ‘Rabbits’.”
Mizuchi lightly waved one hand at the man in blue who was about to destroy Totsuka’s shoulder. The blue guy immediately let Totsuka free.
At the release of the pain that had been nearing its limit, Totsuka let out the breath he had been holding and held his shoulder. The acute pain became dull pain, and his shoulder began to throb in time with his heart.
“I don’t know why you lot are feeling such suspicions for us, but we’ve done nothing to deserve it… however, dealing with a red clansman would cause some trouble for our king. I would not wish that for such a small incident as this.”
Mizuchi looked down at Totsuka.
“Begone.”
After watching Mizuchi leave, Totsuka sighed. Kamamoto came running and kneeled down next to him.
“Totsuka-san! Please don’t be so reckless!”
“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’ll all work out somehow.”
“You were about to have your shoulder ruined, weren’t you!”
“More importantly, we need to fetch Yata and Fushimi…”
Looking up, Totsuka saw the man in blue who had been twisting his arm until just now send orders through an intercom.
“Minato Hayato, Minato Akito, cease fighting. Without engaging the intruders in battle anymore, show them out. I repeat…”
Still kneeling on the ground, Totsuka looked at the man in blue who had almost destroyed his shoulder.
Looking at him from the front for the first time, he appeared to be about forty. Younger than Totsuka had assumed rom his voice. When he had heard the man’s voice from behind, he had imagined someone closer to an old man.
“…you’re a blue clansman, right?”
The man in blue didn’t reply, and only glanced at Totsuka. He had eyes that were difficult to read the emotion in, but that was different from Mizuchi’s coldness- Totsuka could see that he was ‘killing’ his emotions. He could feel that the man had a wavering in his eyes that said he was biting down some kind of shameful feeling.
“Mind if I ask for you name?”
“…Shiotsu Gen.”
He had heard that name somewhere. It was the name of the current head of the blue clan, right?
“You’re…”
“Be quiet.”
Shiotsu said this as though to throwing it away.
“I don’t intend to talk to you anymore. Go away. There won’t be a second time.
+++++++++++++
Looking at Totsuka and company who had returned, Suou scowled.
“Ahaha…”
For starters, Totsuka laughed to try and change the subject. The four of them were beat up. Especially Yata and Fushimi, who had fought opponents with drawn swords, and had their clothes ripped with shallow cuts showing.
Suou gestured at Totsuka to come over with his finger. He grinned while going over. As soon as he was right next to Suou, the guy reached up and grabbed his right shoulder.
“Gah…!” With the dull pain he had been hiding turning into acute pain, Totsuka accidentally raised his voice. Suou sighed exasperatedly.
“…stop grinning. This isn’t broken, is it?”
“Eh, seriously?” Yata looked surprised and leaned forward. Compared to Yata and Fushimi who had cuts however shallow, Totsuka probably looked as though he weren’t hurt.
Totsuka waved his unharmed hand back and forth.
“No, no, the sinews didn’t snap or anything. It seems like the other guy was a professional in that, too. And more importantly, Yata and Saru-kun are looking like that. For now, head up and use the shower to wash off your cuts.”
Yata exchanged unsure looks with Fushimi. Fushimi didn’t look moved as usual, and looking as displeased as always he gestured with his chin.
“You go first.”
At Fushimi’s words, Yata glanced at Totsuka and Suou in an unsure way, saying “But, up there is…”. The bar’s second floor is Suou’s space. To Yata, who was holding back, Suou said “just use it” roughly.
“Right! Then, excuse me!” Yata bowed his head, and while giving Totsuka a worried look, he went up to the second floor.
“Anna-chan’s sleepin’ up there, so don’t be wakin’ her up!” Kusanagi said to Yata who was heading upstairs. Then, Kusanagi sighed and left the counter.
“Totsuka, Fushimi, sit down. I’ll give you first aid.” Getting out a kit, Kusanagi had Totsuka and Fushimi sit in chairs.
“Um… I’m sorry.” Kamamoto, who had come over with diffidence, suddenly bowed his head. Totsuka stared.
“Eh? For what?”
Kamamoto looked down ashamedly while mumbling towards his feet,
“Even though I was with you, I let you get hurt…”
Totsuka still didn’t get what he meant for several seconds, then finally understood, and made a really pathetic face while smiling wryly.
“No no no no… let’s not do this… at this point, it’s totally my fault since I can’t protect myself.”
“But…”
Unable to bear the situation, Totsuka looked exhausted.
Even though he’s part of “Homura”, he “cannot fight”.
Generally, Totsuka wasn’t the type to sweat the details, and usually he didn’t feel any sort of complex about it, but at times like this it was a bit bad for his heart.
“S’fine, s’fine. This guy’s weak, but he’s surprisin’ly tough, so don’t worry about it.”
Kusanagi rescued the two of them. Totsuka nodded in agreement. Right when Fushimi was looking at Kamamoto and Totsuka coldly, suddenly a voice that was a bit too deep to pierce the air came from upstairs.
“Kyaaaaaah!”
It was a male voice. More like, to say it directly, it was Yata’s voice. A boy’s voice that had long since gone through puberty shrieked “kyaaaaa” like a little girl.
Totsuka, to begin with, exchanged looks with Kamamoto who he was already facing. The only thing in their eyes was a pair of ?s.
After that, Totsuka looked at Fushimi who was sitting next to him. Fushimi was frowning in an unbearably questioning way, and looking up at the second floor.
“What was that…?”
Kusanagi stopped as he was about to open the first aid kit and, after all, exchanged questioning looks with Suou.
No one there felt like they needed to rush in, but it bothered them too much to leave it alone, so first Fushimi got up looking annoyed. Totsuka, Kamamoto, Kusanagi, and Suou followed. They went up the stairs and to the shower room.
What the five of them first saw was the back of a girl standing at the door to the changing room. Then, looking further, there was a completely naked Yata who was blushing and standing surrounded by steam. Apparently, like a crow taking a quick wash, he had hurriedly taken a shower and came back out. He was soaked and perhaps because his hair was sticking to his scalp, he looked like a dog who appeared to have shrunk due to being drenched in rain.
The group understood the situation.
“Wha… what!? What is going on!?” In a voice and speech patterns that were flipped over, Yata talked to Anna. Looking at Yata’s naked body with such a perfectly emotionless and unmoved expression that one might feel sorry for the guy, she said,
“I came to wash my hands.”
She had probably gone to the restroom or something. And then when she opened the door to the washroom, she had bumped into Yata.
“Wha… eehh!?”
But Yata still appeared to be confused, and didn’t even think to hide the important bits, and just kind of waved his hands around uselessly like he was doing some sort of weird dance.
“…stop making it obvious that you’re a huge virgin.”
As though to say he had just seen the most worthless thing in existence, Fushimi said this with a fed-up expression.
“Bu, but, a girl suddenly came in…!”
“This isn’t a girl. It’s just a brat.”
“It, it’s bad for her upbringing!”
“Then hurry up and put away that thing that’s bad for her upbringing.”
While Yata and Fushimi were talking, Totsuka used his unharmed hand to turn Anna around so her back faced Yata.
“Hah, I figured it was somethin’ stupid, but that was even more stupid than I could’ve imagined.” Kusanagi sighed and left while rolling his shoulders. Suou said nothing, and acted as though the whole stupid thing hadn’t even entered his eyes.
“Yata-san…”
Kamamoto alone looked at Yata sympathetically and gently offered him a bathtowel.
+++++++++++
While Yata was getting Kamamoto to treat his injuries while he was already undressed and Fushimi was showering, Totsuka was getting his shoulder treated in the closed bar.
It seemed like his shoulder had some internal bleeding, so the area around it was swollen and feverish. Totsuka spoke with Anna while he was cooling his shoulder with a bag full of ice water. He had already reported what happened in the Center to Kusanagi over the phone, and he had no intention of talking about it in front of Anna.
“What were you doing during the day?”
“…sleeping.”
“A nap, huh-. That’s nice. Did you sleep well?”
“I saw a dream about Mikoto.”
“Eh, what’s with that. Since when did you two get so close!? And you’re calling him Mikoto!?”
“…Tatara.”
“Ugh, oh no. My heart fluttered just now. Even though Anna’s age is really outside my range.”
“Hey, don’t say that even as a joke in front of Honami-sensei. We’d be in trouble if she felt like Anna was in danger.”
“Well, sensei’s a bit too unassuming, so it’d be good for her to feel a bit more suspicious in a lot of ways, I think…”
To Totsuka’s questions, Anna replied without showing any stiffness like she had when they first met, and while she didn’t laugh at his and Kusanagi’s jokes, she seemed to be trusting of them.
He thought this wasn’t bad.
Totsuka had heard that something had happened between Suou and Anna during the day from Kusanagi, but it seemed like that had actually gone well, so the walls she had built up between her and Suou, then the rest of the Homura members, were lowered quite a bit.
And also…
Totsuka glanced secretively at Suou.
Recently, he had been acting gloomy, but today he seemed to be feeling much better. Surely there was something between him and Anna that only they could share. Totsuka privately hoped that that would heal the both of them even slightly.
Kusanagi taped up Totsuka’s shoulder, which was cooled off now thanks to the ice.
“Here, for now this’ll do. But you’ll be needin’ to go to the hospital.”
“Thanks. Nah, it’ll be fine. It’ll heal if I just leave it like this.”
“You… it’s not my fault if it goes weird.”
After the treatment was over, when Totsuka was about to put his shirt on, Anna suddenly looked at his back.
“That.” She said as she continued to look.
“What’s that?”
Totsuka twisted his neck to look at his back as though to follow Anna’s gaze. It was hard to see himself. But, he immediately figured out what she was talking about.
On Totsuka’s back- on his left shoulderblade, he had Homura’s ‘Mark’. It was proof that he was the red king Suou Mikoto’s clansman.
“Misaki had one too.”
She probably saw it in the changing room. Totsuka smiled, and leaned down with his back to Anna so she could see the ‘Mark’ well.
“This is proof that we’re Suou Mikoto’s clansmen.”
Anna tilted her head, still looking expressionless.
“A clansman is someone who’s received power from a king, and is with the king.” Totsuka looked into Anna’s eyes, which were like glass balls.
“…do you want to be a clansman, too?”
As he said that, he got his head whacked from behind. A nice thump resounded, and Totsuka held his head.
“Oww-.”
“Don’t say something stupid.”
Suou was looking down on Totsuka in an exasperated way.
“Hurry up and put your clothes on.”
“Yeah, yeah.” As Totsuka put slipped his arms into the sleeve of his shirt, he quietly leaned towards Anna. As though to share secrets with her, who was as expressionless as usual, he whispered in her ear.
“I was being serious just now, okay?”
Anna looked up at him, then clammed up and averted her eyes.
+++++++++
“I feel bad, after all.” Honami looked around the room in an unsure way.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly, I’m sorry it’s such a foul room.”
“Oh, no, it’s a simple and splendid room… but this is the room Suou-kun uses, isn’t it?”
“Don’t worry about it. There’re other open rooms, so this guy can just sleep there. Like the closet, for example.” Kusanagi said with a smile to Honami, who was tilting her head in an unsure way at the entrance to the room. Suou was smoking while leaning against the wall of the hallway, without complaining.
Honami, looking at the bed which was covered in fresh new sheets, turned around in Suou’s direction.
“Suou-kun, do you want to sleep here, too?” Honami asked that in a completely serious way.
Suou looked at he like he just swallowed a lemon.
“Are you an idiot? I’ll attack you.”
Saying it roughly, Suou went into the room that was turned into a closet across the hall. Kusanagi smiled wryly at Honami, who had her eyes wide.
“Please don’t tease the young guys~”
“Oh, come on, of course I wouldn’t do something like that.” Honami said with a smile. It wasn’t like she was playing innocent, it was just from her trust and the easiness that came from Anna being there as well. Either way, it was just a pain for Suou, though.
Ever since Honami had gotten off work and come to the bar, Anna was stuck right to her. Even now, they were holding hands, and Anna was halfway hidden behind Honami. While Anna appeared to have let her guard down towards the Homura guys a bit, it seemed as though she was able to relax most around Honami after all. Like this, she appeared to be a child fawning on her parent.
“Anyway, I’ll be leavin’ Totsuka here tonight, too, so if you need somethin’ or there’s a problem, go right ahead and ask him. Since Mikoto won’t pay attention to somethin’ like that.” When he said that clownishly, Honami smiled softly. Kusanagi was a bit unsettled by how that smile was not just kindly, but somehow kind of delicate.
“Really, thank you for everything. Even though I’m the teacher here, I’m just being helped by you guys.”
“…that’s not true.” As he replied, Kusanagi felt like he had seen Honami’s weak side for the first time.
To Kusanagi, ever since highschool Honami had been someone who, despite being fuzzy and hard to get ahold of, was an existence that never wavered. She could scold Suou, and she was airheaded and missing some screws, but she was profound and strong. That was the kind of person she was.
Even now, surely that hadn’t changed.
But Suou thought that probably, this person was also uneasy. Her brother and his wife had died, and even though she was single and working, she was suddenly turned into the guardian of a seven year old girl with a difficult illness, so there was no way she wasn’t feeling uneasy.
He thought that there wasn’t a shred of untruth in the love Honami showed Anna. You could tell that from how Anna, who had the power to ‘see’, innocently trusted Honami this much. But, because of that love, she must have been concerned about her ability to raise and protect the girl.
“…Honami-sensei.” When Kusanagi spoke up, Honami hid the delicateness she had shown just now, and tilted her head, returning to her usual smile.
“If there’s anythin’ we can ever help with, let us know.”
Honami thanked him with a happy expression. Anna pulled on the hand she was holding.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Anna. Are you sleepy already?” Honami kneeled down to be on the same eye level as Anna. Anna looked into Honami’s eyes and opened her mouth.
“Read me a story?”
There wasn’t any change from her usual tone, but Anna gave off the sweet atmosphere of a child her age. Honami replied to her request with a smile. From a large bag, she pulled out several books. Anna chose one picture book from them. Honami took that, and moved to the bed. The two of them sat on the bed, with Anna on Honami’s knees so she could see the book well, and began to read.
Honami’s voice seemed to flow softly. Kusanagi suddenly remembered his highschool days. Honami was the English teacher. Her voice as she read off the English literature was nice, and even amongst students who didn’t like the subject Honami’s voice as she read was popular. He thought it was a songlike voice.
The contents of the picturebook seemed to be a cliche fantasy. A story where a princess gets stolen away by an evil king. Anna quietly leaned up against Honami, and listened with a childlike face. That face of hers wasn’t a doll-like one that created walls between her and ther people, it was a young child’s natural expression.
Watching the lady and the girl sitting together and reading, Kusanagi felt oddly guilty, like he was peeping, and quietly said ‘goodnight’ so as to not interrupt and left the room.
++++++++
In the bar after closing time, Kusanagi and Totsuka talked about today’s happenings and their plans for now on. In front of Totsuka was a new original cocktail supposed to be put on sale. He had his thoughts on it questioned, but since he usually only said ‘it’s delicious’, Kusanagi exasperatedly pointed out that that wasn’t very helpful.
“While you guys were in the Center, we also investigated usin’ an information broker, but, well, while there’s lots of dark rumors, there’s nothin’ that goes beyond the level of a rumor.”
“So, it’s pretty much the same as us, huh-…”
Inside the counter, Kusanagi poured some whiskey into a glass for himself. As he slowly drank the pretty amber-colored stuff, he lightly leaned on the counter.
“Mizuchi Koushi. A golden clansman, and head of a Strain research facility…” When Kusanagi said that in a whisper, Totsuka looked up while drinking his cocktail like soda.
“Did you find something out about him?”
“No, I just heard a simple profile. He became a golden clansman about ten years ago. Before that he was a docter- a research doctor, apparently… do you know about the golden clan’s ‘Installation’?”
‘Installation’. It’s referring to the ceremony where someone receives power from a king and becomes their clansman. In Homura they hardly ever use that term, and just call it a ‘Test’, but in their case they have the person take Suou’s hand with his flames in it, and if they can do that and take the flames into their body they can become a clansman. In most cases, a red clansman would receive the power of flames, high physical abilities… and the ‘Mark’.
“Gold… brings out ‘Talent’, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told that the golden ‘Installation’ brings out people’s talents to their limit. They say that it was because of the efforts of the people who had had their ‘Talent’ brought out by the golden king after the war that we have Japan today.”
As he spoke, Kusanagi pulled out a cigarette and lit it with his lighter. It crackled a bit, and lit up the end of the cigarette with a small red flame.
“…so, while the golden clan is huge, there’s only a small portion of members who have the ability to fight, and anyway there are lots of clansmen who only receive ‘Talent’ and don’t have any ‘Powers’ according to civillians.”
“Which is why they have people from Scepter 4 acting like security guards over there, I guess… what about the center’s head?”
“Apparently, he’s got powers. Something about healin’ and restoration. Well, I suppose it’s appropriate for someone who’s head of a facility for treatin’ patients involved in Strain incidents.”
“If you just heard that, it’d sound like a peaceful ability… you wouldn’t think someone whose ‘Talent’ unlocked by the golden king’s power was to heal others would be a bad person.” Said Totsuka as he swayed his glass and made noise with the ice. Kusanagi looked at his eyes.
“How was your impression of him?”
When asked, Totsuka replied with his usual smile.
“Bad, I guess.”
“That so. Then we’ll deal with him like that.”
“Is it okay to decide based on my first impression?”
He smiled wryly when Kusanagi nodded without hesitation.
“S’fine. Most of the people you say ‘this is no good’ about end up bein’ no good. Since you can get along normally with someone who’s just kinda hopeless.”
“Ehh-… even I have likes and dislikes when it comes to other people.”
“I’m sayin’ that if you dislike him, that’s all we need to know.”
That probably meant he was trusted. Totsuka smiled in a complicated way.
“But, I kinda want to talk to that other guy… the person from the blue clan.”
“The twins Yata and co fought with?”
“No, the one who almost did in my shoulder. Shiotsu Gen-san.”
“Ahh…” Kusanagi looked around as though trying to remember.
“That’s the name of the blue clan’s temporary commander.”
“Yeah.”
There was a space of several seconds between them.
“It must be tough, losin’ their king and then havin’ to sit in that seat, even as a temporary replacement.”
“Yeah… and on top of that, they were being treated like security guards by the golden clansman.”
Kusanagi sighed and looked down at the counter.
“It’s been ten years since the blue king passed away.”
Ten years without a king.
Thinking of those months and years, one couldn’t help but feel depressed.
Totsuka suddenly looked up as though he had finally realized something.
“Ah, come to think of it, even though the blue king passed away ten years ago, those twins were really young.”
“About how old were they?”
“Probably, just a bit older than me. I was nine when the Kagutsu crater happened.”
Meaning, the previous king had made children who were just past ten his clansmen.
“Hmm… but, you aren’t one to talk. Since you’ve been sayin’ stuff about taking Anna-chan into the red clan.”
“Ahaha. At the time, I just wanted to go ahead and see the other guy’s reaction… but, seriously, what do you think of that?”
“…do you wanna put Anna-chan in Homura?”
Being told that with a somewhat critical look, Totsuka smiled and scratched his cheek in a troubled way.
“Well, isn’t that one option?”
“You, do you wanna make a little kid like that go bad? I wouldn’t be able to face Honami-sensei.”
“But, if she were to join Homura, then not even a golden clansman would be able to touch her. She also wouldn’t be taken by the center while telling Honami-sensei she’s sick.”
“Even if you say that, Anna-chan herself says she’ll go back to the center. And anyway, we can’t confidently say we have proof that we could take care of her better than a facility for educatin’ Strains.”
“But, it’s true that that facility is suspicious, and…”
“Totsuka.”
Kusanagi called Totsuka’s name with a reproachful tone. Totsuka closed his mouth immediately.
“Puttin’ all that aside, try sayin’ what you really feel.”
At Kusanagi’s single sentence, Totsuka was at a loss for words, and just said he’d lost with a wry smile.
“…it’s true that I’m worried about Anna-chan. But, it’s also true that for my own selfish reasons, I think it’d be nice if that child were to stay with us.”
It would be nice if that child were to stay at Suou’s side. While saying it’s for Anna’s sake he was thinking that inwardly. Totsuka, being forced to realize how selfish he was, scratched his head uncomfortably.
Kusanagi sighed. He leisurely took a cigarrete from his pocket and put it in his mouth.
“…if we get in a situation where we can decide that it’d be best for that child to become Mikoto’s clansman, I’ll talk to Mikoto about it. Until then, don’t say anythin’ that’d lead the girl astray.”
“Got it.”
Totsuka nodded.
“Also.”
Kusanagi narrowed his eyes at Totsuka’s shoulder.
“Don’t be reckless. You said it yourself, but you generally can’t protect yourself, right?”
Having a nerve hit twice, Totsuka deepened his wry smile.
“Ah-…. yeah…” Saying that with a sigh, he faceplanted on the counter. Being apologized to by Kamamoto earlier still made his heart ache a little.
“Oh, that’s creepy. Isn’t not knowin’ how gloominess feels to the point that it’s irritating your specialty?”
In response to Kusanagi’s exasperated voice, Totsuka twisted his mouth and looked up at Kusanagi while leaving one cheek on the counter.
“Even I have feelings-.”
“Stop that. If you feel down, somehow even I start feelin’ down.”
“Why would you?” Totsuka smiled wryly. Come to think of it, he recalled being told something like that in the past.
He raised his hand up as though to block out the shop’s light. With the light shining through it, the insides of his hand looked a bit red.
“…even though I’m supposed to have received powers from King like everyone else, I hardly have any use in fights.”
Totsuka not only had very little power, but his physical abilities were also almost no different than when he was a normal human. It was at a level that one could call him just a normal civilian who could use fire and heat for some little magic tricks.
“Honestly, you probably ain’t suited for Homura.”
Being told that frankly, Totsuka made a pathetic face.
“Kusanagi-san, that actually kind of seriously hurts my feelings.”
“Nah, I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anythin’.”
Kusanagi smiled and reached his hand out across the counter.
“That’s exactly why we need you, isn’t it?”
His hand stroked Totsuka’s head roughly. Totsuka smiled wryly and tried to lean away.
Back when they first met- back when Totsuka was a middleschooler younger than Yata and company, he felt like he had been treated this way a lot. At the time, to him Kusanagi had looked like an adult, but when Homura was born, and lots of boys joined up, all of a sudden Totsuka was categorized as an ‘adult’ along with Kusanagi.
“Anyway, stay here tonight. I won’t be here tomorrow mornin’, so have the shop be closed.”
“…are you going out somewhere?”
“Pretty much.”
Kusanagi thinly exhaled some cigarette smoke, and smiled at Totsuka like he was plotting something.
“Totsuka, if you’re free tomorrow, take Anna-chan out somewhere and drag Mikoto along.”
“Eh?”
Kusanagi leaned out on the counter and whispered something into Totsuka’s ear.
+++++++++
He saw a dream of drowning.
Suou opened his eyes when he thought ‘I can’t breathe’. Along with his awakening, his inability to breathe vanished, and his breath came back. It wasn’t a dream worth getting nervous over, he only coolly thought that it was a nightmare different from the usual.
But, he got kind of nervous when he opened his eyes and saw what was in front of him.
“…hey.”
Suou had been sleeping in the room turned into a closet on the second floor. He had been asleep on a sofa that was ripped and had its cotton falling out, but for some reason, stretched out on his stomach now was Anna, who was supposed to be sleeping with Honami.
“Hey…. what are you doing?”
On top of that, Anna was shaking. Intensely. Suou frowned, grabbed her shoulder, and forced her to raise her head. Her face was white and her eyes were wide.
“…Anna.”
He tried calling her name. Her eyes waveringly looked in his direction. Suou wasn’t sure what to do in the face of those relying eyes. Unable to think of what else to do to Anna, who looked like she might go into convulsions at any time, he pulled her to his chest as though hugging her. He could feel her unnaturally high pulse. But, that sped-up heartrate slowly calmed down to match his.
Her chilled body also began to warm up thanks to Suou’s bodyheat and began to stop shivering.
“Did you see a scary dream or something?”
Anna nodded with her face still buried in Suou’s chest.
“Was it my fault?”
Anna had fallen because she ‘Connected’ with Suou. And on top of that, she was sharing his nightmares. He was concerned that it was because of that, but Anna nodded this time, her nose still stuck to him.
“Mikoto’s dreams are fine.”
“Then, what’s wrong?”
“…”
Anna fell silent. Suou felt even more helpless. He didn’t know how to comfort a child trembling after seeing a nightmare. He had hugged her to himself to begin with, but even if she calmed down like that, he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Feeling troubled in a way he hadn’t for years, Suou stood up carrying Anna on his hip.
Since she went out of her way to come here, she probably didn’t want to be taken to Honami. While still carrying her like luggage, he went down the stairs.
It was dark, but the sky outside was beginning to light up, and he was able to see the inside of the bar. He found a lumpy white blanket on the sofa.
Suou went over to that, and put Anna down on it.
“Mmph!” The blanket groaned.
The white ball squirmed around, and Totsuka’s face came out.
“Eh, what…?”
Looking around while half-asleep, he discovered Anna on top of him and opened his eyes wide.
“Anna-chan? What’s up?”
“She was there when I woke up. Do something about it.”
After having it shoved off on him, Totsuka looked at Suou with a sleepy but exasperated expression, and then shifted around so he could sit up while being careful not to make Anna fall.
“You can’t sleep?”
Totsuka unsuspectingly asked while reaching out, and touched Anna’s shoulder. Right then, his fingers jumped like they had touched something hot.
He breathed in sharply.
Totsuka’s fingers, which he had pulled away from Anna while twisting his face a bit, had turned red as though they were burned. Suou wrinkled his brow. Looking at Totsuka’s fingers, Anna’s face turned white like earlier.
Totsuka reacted quickly. As if to tell her there was nothing to be worried about, he hugged Anna who was looking afraid.
“Ah-, it’s okay, it’s okay. Right now, that was probably something like a power overflow, but that’s really common. Anna’s just now wasn’t anything big.”
A power overflow. Probably. However, that was still strange. It was possible for something like just now to happen when the red clansmen, who have flames inside their bodies, failed to control their powers. But Anna was supposed to have clairvoyant powers. So why was Totsuka ‘Burned’?
Totsuka was apparently wondering the same thing. While still holding Anna, he made eye contact with Suou. After thinking for a while, he rouched for his terminal, which was on the table. It showed on the screen that it was half past four in the morning. It was too early, but technically counted as morning.
“Anna-chan, wanna go back to sleep?”
She shook her head in reply.
“Then, it’s a bit early, but let’s just get up. What do you want for breakfast?” Letting Anna down, Totsuka got up from the sofa with a smile. From behind Totsuka, who was interacting cheerfully with Anna, Suou looked at her quietly.
++++++++++++++
She had seen a dream.
Maybe a nightmare.
But that wasn’t the sort of dream that showed one’s uneasiness, like Suou’s, it was a dream that showed something that had happened in reality as it was.
She thought she couldn’t be with Honami. She thought that if she were with that person, it would be okay. The person who had a very pretty red. The one person who held a color Anna could certainly feel the existence of. Anna quietly turned her eyes away.
…that’s no good. She couldn’t expect anything. She couldn’t reach her hand out.
Anna could ‘See’ a wide world. However, the world she could ‘Touch’ was very small.
She looked up at Totsuka, who was putting bread in the toaster. His fingers were long and thin. It was the fingers that had touched her a moment ago. Totsuka was acting like there wasn’t anything wrong, but those fingers of his were red.
The people here were warm.
She couldn’t let the people here touch what was inside of her.
Anna closed her eyes. Quietly, willfully, she closed up in the world inside of herself. So that what was inside her wouldn’t hurt anyone.
So she wouldn’t let her voice slip out.
© trashbunny.tumblr.com/
“Oh, you’re coming with me?” In response to Totsuka’s calm voice, Kamamoto exasperatedly went ‘for goodness’s sake!’.
“Yata-san said to go with Totsuka, since there’s might be more blues or fighters around!”
“I see, so you guys were worried about me. Thanks… but, from here on we’re going to be going in a dangerous direction on purpose, okay?”
“Okay!?”
Totsuka looked at the Strain boy who was running along with them half-pulled.
“Would the ‘Mizuchi-san’ you were about to mention earlier happen to be the one in charge here?”
In response to Totsuka’s question, the Strain boy who was still looking like he didn’t really get what was going on and blinking in surprise, nodded.
“Yeah, but…”
“Then, could you take us to where that Mizuchi-san is?”
“Totsuka-san!?” Kamamoto raised his voice wildly.
“Weren’t we going to run away!?”
“Well…”
“Don’t ‘well…’ me!”
Totsuka turned his smile towards Kamamoto, who was acting nervous.
“Kamamoto, would you go ahead and escape?”
“I don’t want to!” Before asking why, Kamamoto wrinkled his eyebrows and yelled. Looking at that, Totsuka let out a little laugh.
“…I think those twins have power rivaling FushimiYata. Considering their personalities… especially Yata’s personality, I can’t really think they’ll run away. But, if the fight lasts long, other fighters should come running. If that happened, then no matter how strong Fushimi and Yata are, it’s only a matter of time until they get caught.”
“So, you’re going to settle things directly with this place’s boss?”
Totsuka responded with a smile to Kamamoto’s shallow one.
“It’s not that big of a deal. We’re just going to see the other side’s attitude… so, even if they’re are aggressive, I don’t intend to fight back, so you don’t need to protect me, but… do you still not want to escape first?”
Kamamoto put on a sulky face.
“Is it Homura’s style to say oh okay and run away alone, leaving their comrades behind after being told that?”
Totsuka couldn’t help but blink several times and look at Kamamoto’s (who was running alongside him) face.
After about a couple of seconds, he couldn’t help but smile a bit and said,
“Sorry.”
Even as they talked, the three of them ran through hallways and up staircases all the way up to the top floor. The Strain boy who was leading them still looked like he was confused, but he didn’t seem like he was going to leave them and run away.
“Sorry for dragging you into this, too.”
When Totsuka spoke to him, the Strain boy looked like he got ahold of himself.
“Seriously! Why am I just obediently showing you guys the way!?”
“Ahaha, sorry, sorry. Come to ‘HOMRA’ the bar after you leave the Center. I’ll treat you to some alcohol or something.”
“I’m a minor!”
“‘Homra’ has good curry, too.”
“Somehow, this doesn’t feel worth it!”
While having a conversation that didn’t suit the situation, the Strain boy pointed at the next turn in the hallway.
“After that, there’s a room where the Center’s workers meet up. I don’t know whether Mizuchi-san is there or not, but…”
As the boy was saying that, Totsuka and company reached the corner.
Turned.
Suddenly, blue was right in front of his eyes.
Blue clothes.
Right as he registered that, Totsuka’s body went flying.
When he realized he had lightly had his arm grabbed and been tossed, he had already been thrown to the floor. Then he was immediately pulled back up, and had his knees forced to the ground while his arm was twisted around.
“Totsuka-san!” Kamamoto yelled.
Totsuka looked up while he was pinned down by his arm.
He could see a nervous-looking Kamamoto. Moving his neck, he could see a pair of feet wearing black leather shoes. He raised his eyes. Black slacks, a stainless white coat, a golden necklace that looked like a nametag, and finally, the deeply-chiseled face of a man in his thirties.
“I was informed that there were intruders.” That man spoke with a smile. His speech was calm, but underneath that could be felt a freezing cold temperature.
“Who is in charge?”
“Technically me, I guess?”
Still wearing a soft expression, the man in the white coat said haughtily,
“Name yourself.”
“Clansman of Suou Mikoto the third king, Totsuka Tatara.”
Some slight scorn crossed the cheeks of the man who had been making a kind-looking expression.
“…aah, I know your name. I believe, even though you’re one of the first clansmen, you have unsuitably low abilities…”
“Haha, that’s not a very nice way of remembering me.”
After smiling wryly, Totsuka abruptly changed his expression. From his usual smile, to a blank face.
“Are you Mizuchi-san?”
The man narrowed his eyes. Because of his deeply chiseled features, a dark shadow fell on his eyes.
“Correct. I am this Center’s head, and the second King, Kokujyouji Daikaku’s clansman, Mizuchi Koushi.”
After naming himself, Mizuchi glanced at the Strain boy. Totsuka, who was being held down, couldn’t see the boy, but from how his breathing was upset, Totsuka could tell he was very uneasy.
“We threatened that Strain over there into bringing us here.”
When Totsuka said that, Mizuchi gestured with his chin.
“Go.”
After a short, hesitating pause, Totsuka heard footsteps running away.
“So? If you have some sort of excuse, I’ll listen.”
“You know a kid named Kushina Anna, right?”
When asked directly, Mizuchi’s eyebrows raised a little.
“…what about her?”
“That kid, she can’t be called unrelated to us… last night, our members had a fight with some blue clansmen who seemed to be keeping watch on her.”
“I’ve heard the report. But, what of it? When returning a dangerous, young Strain to society temporarily, we put surveillance on them in case anything happens. Such preventative measures are a matter of course.”
“But, we found it suspicious.”
There was a momentary silence.
As if to say that’s his base expression, Mizuchi was constantly smiling faintly. Still looking that way, he looked behind Totsuka. Towards the person twisting his arm, most likely.
“…the ones in charge of watching Kushina-kun yesterday were the Minato brothers, correct?”
“Yes.” Replied the person behind Totsuka. Because about the only thing that entered his head when he bumped into the other person at the corner was their blue clothes, he hadn’t been able to tell what sort they were, but judging by their voice, they weren’t someone young. Their voice had root, but it was dry and scratchy.
Mizuchi nodded after hearing the reply from the person holding Totsuka down.
“Yesterday, the ones who came in contact with your clansmen were, shall we say, ones who have some slight faults in their personality. Surely what made you suspicious was that… however, it’s extremely misguided to suspect the Center because of that. Just because the guards used were bad, it doesn’t make sense to suspect the work of the one hiring them, does it?”
The hand holding Totsuka down wavered very slightly. In his heart, he felt sympathetic. It was impossible to stay calm while being shamefully treated like another clan’s member’s security guards.
“…The red clan wishes to take that child.”
In response to what Totsuka said, Mizuchi froze.
“…what?”
“If I said that, what would you do?”
Mizuchi spat out a laugh.
“Ridiculous. She’s a difficult Strain. There is no way the red clan which has violence as its creed could protect her. I am the one who will protect her future.”
“But, if that child were to choose us, you wouldn’t have the right to stop it, would you?”
“She will not choose someone like you people.”
Totsuka closed his mouth momentarily at Mizuchi’s completely confident words.
“In any case, you people are criminals who invaded another king’s territory. Rather than that nonsense, shouldn’t you be trying to do something about yourselves?”
Behind him, Totsuka could hear Kamamoto swallow. His nervousness got across, so Totsuka, in contrast, loosened the strings on his feelings.
“Are you going to punish us?”
Mizuchi seemed to be lost for words for a moment at Totsuka’s soft question.
“…I probably should.”
Totsuka nodded slowly to that response.
“That’s fine.”
He turned to Mizuchi and smiled his usual smile.
“In order to punish another king’s clansman, proper formalities need to be observed… what I want to know is if you can do something like that openly without anything to hide.”
Mizuchi’s temple wrinkled a bit. Totsuka could hear Kamamoto rebukingly say “Totsuka-san” in a muffled voice. A short silence fell. After sighing slightly, Mizuchi looked at the man in blue who was holding Totsuka.
The next moment.
The guy in blue who was twisting Totsuka’s arm up from behind increased the strength in his hand. A tight sound came from inside Totsuka’s body. In response to the acute pain running through his shoulder, Totsuka bit back the voice he almost let out. He ended up biting his lip, and the flavor of blood spread through his mouth.
“Totsuka-san!”
Totsuka used his free hand to stop Kamamoto, who was about to run over. His muscles kept creaking audibly. His shoulder was being pulled up and twisted in an unnatural direction. Unable to bear the force being put into it, the shoulder’s bones and sinew were screaming. Despite the pain of nearly having his snapped, and despite sweating a bit from the feeling of dread, Totsuka endured the pain to look up at Mizuchi. Mizuchi watched emotionlessly, as though looking at data. Totsuka felt a chill seeing those eyes that had something like an ingratiating smile stuck to them.
In order to punish another king’s clansman, proper formalities were needed. That was fact. However, it was possible to do something about that by just staying quiet (and anyway, Homura wouldn’t do something that troublesome and would just pay their debts by their own rules). However, due to their nature, the golden clan had to be an example amongst the seven kings. They should have a responsibility to follow the rules more than anyone else. That was likely why they were silently causing pain to Totsuka while waiting for him to acknowledge his fault and beg for help.
Totsuka gave up on his shoulder and stayed quiet. A difficult to bear silence filled only with the sound of muscles creaking fell. The pain from his shoulder to his elbow began to numb.
If that silence had continued any longer, either the strength of Totsuka’s bones or Kamamoto’s ability to stand it probably would have reached their limit. But, the one who spoke first was Mizuchi.
“…I am the greatest and most powerful golden king’s clansman. Of course I have nothing to hide. This center is also being properly managed under the observation of the ‘Rabbits’.”
Mizuchi lightly waved one hand at the man in blue who was about to destroy Totsuka’s shoulder. The blue guy immediately let Totsuka free.
At the release of the pain that had been nearing its limit, Totsuka let out the breath he had been holding and held his shoulder. The acute pain became dull pain, and his shoulder began to throb in time with his heart.
“I don’t know why you lot are feeling such suspicions for us, but we’ve done nothing to deserve it… however, dealing with a red clansman would cause some trouble for our king. I would not wish that for such a small incident as this.”
Mizuchi looked down at Totsuka.
“Begone.”
After watching Mizuchi leave, Totsuka sighed. Kamamoto came running and kneeled down next to him.
“Totsuka-san! Please don’t be so reckless!”
“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’ll all work out somehow.”
“You were about to have your shoulder ruined, weren’t you!”
“More importantly, we need to fetch Yata and Fushimi…”
Looking up, Totsuka saw the man in blue who had been twisting his arm until just now send orders through an intercom.
“Minato Hayato, Minato Akito, cease fighting. Without engaging the intruders in battle anymore, show them out. I repeat…”
Still kneeling on the ground, Totsuka looked at the man in blue who had almost destroyed his shoulder.
Looking at him from the front for the first time, he appeared to be about forty. Younger than Totsuka had assumed rom his voice. When he had heard the man’s voice from behind, he had imagined someone closer to an old man.
“…you’re a blue clansman, right?”
The man in blue didn’t reply, and only glanced at Totsuka. He had eyes that were difficult to read the emotion in, but that was different from Mizuchi’s coldness- Totsuka could see that he was ‘killing’ his emotions. He could feel that the man had a wavering in his eyes that said he was biting down some kind of shameful feeling.
“Mind if I ask for you name?”
“…Shiotsu Gen.”
He had heard that name somewhere. It was the name of the current head of the blue clan, right?
“You’re…”
“Be quiet.”
Shiotsu said this as though to throwing it away.
“I don’t intend to talk to you anymore. Go away. There won’t be a second time.
+++++++++++++
Looking at Totsuka and company who had returned, Suou scowled.
“Ahaha…”
For starters, Totsuka laughed to try and change the subject. The four of them were beat up. Especially Yata and Fushimi, who had fought opponents with drawn swords, and had their clothes ripped with shallow cuts showing.
Suou gestured at Totsuka to come over with his finger. He grinned while going over. As soon as he was right next to Suou, the guy reached up and grabbed his right shoulder.
“Gah…!” With the dull pain he had been hiding turning into acute pain, Totsuka accidentally raised his voice. Suou sighed exasperatedly.
“…stop grinning. This isn’t broken, is it?”
“Eh, seriously?” Yata looked surprised and leaned forward. Compared to Yata and Fushimi who had cuts however shallow, Totsuka probably looked as though he weren’t hurt.
Totsuka waved his unharmed hand back and forth.
“No, no, the sinews didn’t snap or anything. It seems like the other guy was a professional in that, too. And more importantly, Yata and Saru-kun are looking like that. For now, head up and use the shower to wash off your cuts.”
Yata exchanged unsure looks with Fushimi. Fushimi didn’t look moved as usual, and looking as displeased as always he gestured with his chin.
“You go first.”
At Fushimi’s words, Yata glanced at Totsuka and Suou in an unsure way, saying “But, up there is…”. The bar’s second floor is Suou’s space. To Yata, who was holding back, Suou said “just use it” roughly.
“Right! Then, excuse me!” Yata bowed his head, and while giving Totsuka a worried look, he went up to the second floor.
“Anna-chan’s sleepin’ up there, so don’t be wakin’ her up!” Kusanagi said to Yata who was heading upstairs. Then, Kusanagi sighed and left the counter.
“Totsuka, Fushimi, sit down. I’ll give you first aid.” Getting out a kit, Kusanagi had Totsuka and Fushimi sit in chairs.
“Um… I’m sorry.” Kamamoto, who had come over with diffidence, suddenly bowed his head. Totsuka stared.
“Eh? For what?”
Kamamoto looked down ashamedly while mumbling towards his feet,
“Even though I was with you, I let you get hurt…”
Totsuka still didn’t get what he meant for several seconds, then finally understood, and made a really pathetic face while smiling wryly.
“No no no no… let’s not do this… at this point, it’s totally my fault since I can’t protect myself.”
“But…”
Unable to bear the situation, Totsuka looked exhausted.
Even though he’s part of “Homura”, he “cannot fight”.
Generally, Totsuka wasn’t the type to sweat the details, and usually he didn’t feel any sort of complex about it, but at times like this it was a bit bad for his heart.
“S’fine, s’fine. This guy’s weak, but he’s surprisin’ly tough, so don’t worry about it.”
Kusanagi rescued the two of them. Totsuka nodded in agreement. Right when Fushimi was looking at Kamamoto and Totsuka coldly, suddenly a voice that was a bit too deep to pierce the air came from upstairs.
“Kyaaaaaah!”
It was a male voice. More like, to say it directly, it was Yata’s voice. A boy’s voice that had long since gone through puberty shrieked “kyaaaaa” like a little girl.
Totsuka, to begin with, exchanged looks with Kamamoto who he was already facing. The only thing in their eyes was a pair of ?s.
After that, Totsuka looked at Fushimi who was sitting next to him. Fushimi was frowning in an unbearably questioning way, and looking up at the second floor.
“What was that…?”
Kusanagi stopped as he was about to open the first aid kit and, after all, exchanged questioning looks with Suou.
No one there felt like they needed to rush in, but it bothered them too much to leave it alone, so first Fushimi got up looking annoyed. Totsuka, Kamamoto, Kusanagi, and Suou followed. They went up the stairs and to the shower room.
What the five of them first saw was the back of a girl standing at the door to the changing room. Then, looking further, there was a completely naked Yata who was blushing and standing surrounded by steam. Apparently, like a crow taking a quick wash, he had hurriedly taken a shower and came back out. He was soaked and perhaps because his hair was sticking to his scalp, he looked like a dog who appeared to have shrunk due to being drenched in rain.
The group understood the situation.
“Wha… what!? What is going on!?” In a voice and speech patterns that were flipped over, Yata talked to Anna. Looking at Yata’s naked body with such a perfectly emotionless and unmoved expression that one might feel sorry for the guy, she said,
“I came to wash my hands.”
She had probably gone to the restroom or something. And then when she opened the door to the washroom, she had bumped into Yata.
“Wha… eehh!?”
But Yata still appeared to be confused, and didn’t even think to hide the important bits, and just kind of waved his hands around uselessly like he was doing some sort of weird dance.
“…stop making it obvious that you’re a huge virgin.”
As though to say he had just seen the most worthless thing in existence, Fushimi said this with a fed-up expression.
“Bu, but, a girl suddenly came in…!”
“This isn’t a girl. It’s just a brat.”
“It, it’s bad for her upbringing!”
“Then hurry up and put away that thing that’s bad for her upbringing.”
While Yata and Fushimi were talking, Totsuka used his unharmed hand to turn Anna around so her back faced Yata.
“Hah, I figured it was somethin’ stupid, but that was even more stupid than I could’ve imagined.” Kusanagi sighed and left while rolling his shoulders. Suou said nothing, and acted as though the whole stupid thing hadn’t even entered his eyes.
“Yata-san…”
Kamamoto alone looked at Yata sympathetically and gently offered him a bathtowel.
+++++++++++
While Yata was getting Kamamoto to treat his injuries while he was already undressed and Fushimi was showering, Totsuka was getting his shoulder treated in the closed bar.
It seemed like his shoulder had some internal bleeding, so the area around it was swollen and feverish. Totsuka spoke with Anna while he was cooling his shoulder with a bag full of ice water. He had already reported what happened in the Center to Kusanagi over the phone, and he had no intention of talking about it in front of Anna.
“What were you doing during the day?”
“…sleeping.”
“A nap, huh-. That’s nice. Did you sleep well?”
“I saw a dream about Mikoto.”
“Eh, what’s with that. Since when did you two get so close!? And you’re calling him Mikoto!?”
“…Tatara.”
“Ugh, oh no. My heart fluttered just now. Even though Anna’s age is really outside my range.”
“Hey, don’t say that even as a joke in front of Honami-sensei. We’d be in trouble if she felt like Anna was in danger.”
“Well, sensei’s a bit too unassuming, so it’d be good for her to feel a bit more suspicious in a lot of ways, I think…”
To Totsuka’s questions, Anna replied without showing any stiffness like she had when they first met, and while she didn’t laugh at his and Kusanagi’s jokes, she seemed to be trusting of them.
He thought this wasn’t bad.
Totsuka had heard that something had happened between Suou and Anna during the day from Kusanagi, but it seemed like that had actually gone well, so the walls she had built up between her and Suou, then the rest of the Homura members, were lowered quite a bit.
And also…
Totsuka glanced secretively at Suou.
Recently, he had been acting gloomy, but today he seemed to be feeling much better. Surely there was something between him and Anna that only they could share. Totsuka privately hoped that that would heal the both of them even slightly.
Kusanagi taped up Totsuka’s shoulder, which was cooled off now thanks to the ice.
“Here, for now this’ll do. But you’ll be needin’ to go to the hospital.”
“Thanks. Nah, it’ll be fine. It’ll heal if I just leave it like this.”
“You… it’s not my fault if it goes weird.”
After the treatment was over, when Totsuka was about to put his shirt on, Anna suddenly looked at his back.
“That.” She said as she continued to look.
“What’s that?”
Totsuka twisted his neck to look at his back as though to follow Anna’s gaze. It was hard to see himself. But, he immediately figured out what she was talking about.
On Totsuka’s back- on his left shoulderblade, he had Homura’s ‘Mark’. It was proof that he was the red king Suou Mikoto’s clansman.
“Misaki had one too.”
She probably saw it in the changing room. Totsuka smiled, and leaned down with his back to Anna so she could see the ‘Mark’ well.
“This is proof that we’re Suou Mikoto’s clansmen.”
Anna tilted her head, still looking expressionless.
“A clansman is someone who’s received power from a king, and is with the king.” Totsuka looked into Anna’s eyes, which were like glass balls.
“…do you want to be a clansman, too?”
As he said that, he got his head whacked from behind. A nice thump resounded, and Totsuka held his head.
“Oww-.”
“Don’t say something stupid.”
Suou was looking down on Totsuka in an exasperated way.
“Hurry up and put your clothes on.”
“Yeah, yeah.” As Totsuka put slipped his arms into the sleeve of his shirt, he quietly leaned towards Anna. As though to share secrets with her, who was as expressionless as usual, he whispered in her ear.
“I was being serious just now, okay?”
Anna looked up at him, then clammed up and averted her eyes.
+++++++++
“I feel bad, after all.” Honami looked around the room in an unsure way.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly, I’m sorry it’s such a foul room.”
“Oh, no, it’s a simple and splendid room… but this is the room Suou-kun uses, isn’t it?”
“Don’t worry about it. There’re other open rooms, so this guy can just sleep there. Like the closet, for example.” Kusanagi said with a smile to Honami, who was tilting her head in an unsure way at the entrance to the room. Suou was smoking while leaning against the wall of the hallway, without complaining.
Honami, looking at the bed which was covered in fresh new sheets, turned around in Suou’s direction.
“Suou-kun, do you want to sleep here, too?” Honami asked that in a completely serious way.
Suou looked at he like he just swallowed a lemon.
“Are you an idiot? I’ll attack you.”
Saying it roughly, Suou went into the room that was turned into a closet across the hall. Kusanagi smiled wryly at Honami, who had her eyes wide.
“Please don’t tease the young guys~”
“Oh, come on, of course I wouldn’t do something like that.” Honami said with a smile. It wasn’t like she was playing innocent, it was just from her trust and the easiness that came from Anna being there as well. Either way, it was just a pain for Suou, though.
Ever since Honami had gotten off work and come to the bar, Anna was stuck right to her. Even now, they were holding hands, and Anna was halfway hidden behind Honami. While Anna appeared to have let her guard down towards the Homura guys a bit, it seemed as though she was able to relax most around Honami after all. Like this, she appeared to be a child fawning on her parent.
“Anyway, I’ll be leavin’ Totsuka here tonight, too, so if you need somethin’ or there’s a problem, go right ahead and ask him. Since Mikoto won’t pay attention to somethin’ like that.” When he said that clownishly, Honami smiled softly. Kusanagi was a bit unsettled by how that smile was not just kindly, but somehow kind of delicate.
“Really, thank you for everything. Even though I’m the teacher here, I’m just being helped by you guys.”
“…that’s not true.” As he replied, Kusanagi felt like he had seen Honami’s weak side for the first time.
To Kusanagi, ever since highschool Honami had been someone who, despite being fuzzy and hard to get ahold of, was an existence that never wavered. She could scold Suou, and she was airheaded and missing some screws, but she was profound and strong. That was the kind of person she was.
Even now, surely that hadn’t changed.
But Suou thought that probably, this person was also uneasy. Her brother and his wife had died, and even though she was single and working, she was suddenly turned into the guardian of a seven year old girl with a difficult illness, so there was no way she wasn’t feeling uneasy.
He thought that there wasn’t a shred of untruth in the love Honami showed Anna. You could tell that from how Anna, who had the power to ‘see’, innocently trusted Honami this much. But, because of that love, she must have been concerned about her ability to raise and protect the girl.
“…Honami-sensei.” When Kusanagi spoke up, Honami hid the delicateness she had shown just now, and tilted her head, returning to her usual smile.
“If there’s anythin’ we can ever help with, let us know.”
Honami thanked him with a happy expression. Anna pulled on the hand she was holding.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Anna. Are you sleepy already?” Honami kneeled down to be on the same eye level as Anna. Anna looked into Honami’s eyes and opened her mouth.
“Read me a story?”
There wasn’t any change from her usual tone, but Anna gave off the sweet atmosphere of a child her age. Honami replied to her request with a smile. From a large bag, she pulled out several books. Anna chose one picture book from them. Honami took that, and moved to the bed. The two of them sat on the bed, with Anna on Honami’s knees so she could see the book well, and began to read.
Honami’s voice seemed to flow softly. Kusanagi suddenly remembered his highschool days. Honami was the English teacher. Her voice as she read off the English literature was nice, and even amongst students who didn’t like the subject Honami’s voice as she read was popular. He thought it was a songlike voice.
The contents of the picturebook seemed to be a cliche fantasy. A story where a princess gets stolen away by an evil king. Anna quietly leaned up against Honami, and listened with a childlike face. That face of hers wasn’t a doll-like one that created walls between her and ther people, it was a young child’s natural expression.
Watching the lady and the girl sitting together and reading, Kusanagi felt oddly guilty, like he was peeping, and quietly said ‘goodnight’ so as to not interrupt and left the room.
++++++++
In the bar after closing time, Kusanagi and Totsuka talked about today’s happenings and their plans for now on. In front of Totsuka was a new original cocktail supposed to be put on sale. He had his thoughts on it questioned, but since he usually only said ‘it’s delicious’, Kusanagi exasperatedly pointed out that that wasn’t very helpful.
“While you guys were in the Center, we also investigated usin’ an information broker, but, well, while there’s lots of dark rumors, there’s nothin’ that goes beyond the level of a rumor.”
“So, it’s pretty much the same as us, huh-…”
Inside the counter, Kusanagi poured some whiskey into a glass for himself. As he slowly drank the pretty amber-colored stuff, he lightly leaned on the counter.
“Mizuchi Koushi. A golden clansman, and head of a Strain research facility…” When Kusanagi said that in a whisper, Totsuka looked up while drinking his cocktail like soda.
“Did you find something out about him?”
“No, I just heard a simple profile. He became a golden clansman about ten years ago. Before that he was a docter- a research doctor, apparently… do you know about the golden clan’s ‘Installation’?”
‘Installation’. It’s referring to the ceremony where someone receives power from a king and becomes their clansman. In Homura they hardly ever use that term, and just call it a ‘Test’, but in their case they have the person take Suou’s hand with his flames in it, and if they can do that and take the flames into their body they can become a clansman. In most cases, a red clansman would receive the power of flames, high physical abilities… and the ‘Mark’.
“Gold… brings out ‘Talent’, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told that the golden ‘Installation’ brings out people’s talents to their limit. They say that it was because of the efforts of the people who had had their ‘Talent’ brought out by the golden king after the war that we have Japan today.”
As he spoke, Kusanagi pulled out a cigarette and lit it with his lighter. It crackled a bit, and lit up the end of the cigarette with a small red flame.
“…so, while the golden clan is huge, there’s only a small portion of members who have the ability to fight, and anyway there are lots of clansmen who only receive ‘Talent’ and don’t have any ‘Powers’ according to civillians.”
“Which is why they have people from Scepter 4 acting like security guards over there, I guess… what about the center’s head?”
“Apparently, he’s got powers. Something about healin’ and restoration. Well, I suppose it’s appropriate for someone who’s head of a facility for treatin’ patients involved in Strain incidents.”
“If you just heard that, it’d sound like a peaceful ability… you wouldn’t think someone whose ‘Talent’ unlocked by the golden king’s power was to heal others would be a bad person.” Said Totsuka as he swayed his glass and made noise with the ice. Kusanagi looked at his eyes.
“How was your impression of him?”
When asked, Totsuka replied with his usual smile.
“Bad, I guess.”
“That so. Then we’ll deal with him like that.”
“Is it okay to decide based on my first impression?”
He smiled wryly when Kusanagi nodded without hesitation.
“S’fine. Most of the people you say ‘this is no good’ about end up bein’ no good. Since you can get along normally with someone who’s just kinda hopeless.”
“Ehh-… even I have likes and dislikes when it comes to other people.”
“I’m sayin’ that if you dislike him, that’s all we need to know.”
That probably meant he was trusted. Totsuka smiled in a complicated way.
“But, I kinda want to talk to that other guy… the person from the blue clan.”
“The twins Yata and co fought with?”
“No, the one who almost did in my shoulder. Shiotsu Gen-san.”
“Ahh…” Kusanagi looked around as though trying to remember.
“That’s the name of the blue clan’s temporary commander.”
“Yeah.”
There was a space of several seconds between them.
“It must be tough, losin’ their king and then havin’ to sit in that seat, even as a temporary replacement.”
“Yeah… and on top of that, they were being treated like security guards by the golden clansman.”
Kusanagi sighed and looked down at the counter.
“It’s been ten years since the blue king passed away.”
Ten years without a king.
Thinking of those months and years, one couldn’t help but feel depressed.
Totsuka suddenly looked up as though he had finally realized something.
“Ah, come to think of it, even though the blue king passed away ten years ago, those twins were really young.”
“About how old were they?”
“Probably, just a bit older than me. I was nine when the Kagutsu crater happened.”
Meaning, the previous king had made children who were just past ten his clansmen.
“Hmm… but, you aren’t one to talk. Since you’ve been sayin’ stuff about taking Anna-chan into the red clan.”
“Ahaha. At the time, I just wanted to go ahead and see the other guy’s reaction… but, seriously, what do you think of that?”
“…do you wanna put Anna-chan in Homura?”
Being told that with a somewhat critical look, Totsuka smiled and scratched his cheek in a troubled way.
“Well, isn’t that one option?”
“You, do you wanna make a little kid like that go bad? I wouldn’t be able to face Honami-sensei.”
“But, if she were to join Homura, then not even a golden clansman would be able to touch her. She also wouldn’t be taken by the center while telling Honami-sensei she’s sick.”
“Even if you say that, Anna-chan herself says she’ll go back to the center. And anyway, we can’t confidently say we have proof that we could take care of her better than a facility for educatin’ Strains.”
“But, it’s true that that facility is suspicious, and…”
“Totsuka.”
Kusanagi called Totsuka’s name with a reproachful tone. Totsuka closed his mouth immediately.
“Puttin’ all that aside, try sayin’ what you really feel.”
At Kusanagi’s single sentence, Totsuka was at a loss for words, and just said he’d lost with a wry smile.
“…it’s true that I’m worried about Anna-chan. But, it’s also true that for my own selfish reasons, I think it’d be nice if that child were to stay with us.”
It would be nice if that child were to stay at Suou’s side. While saying it’s for Anna’s sake he was thinking that inwardly. Totsuka, being forced to realize how selfish he was, scratched his head uncomfortably.
Kusanagi sighed. He leisurely took a cigarrete from his pocket and put it in his mouth.
“…if we get in a situation where we can decide that it’d be best for that child to become Mikoto’s clansman, I’ll talk to Mikoto about it. Until then, don’t say anythin’ that’d lead the girl astray.”
“Got it.”
Totsuka nodded.
“Also.”
Kusanagi narrowed his eyes at Totsuka’s shoulder.
“Don’t be reckless. You said it yourself, but you generally can’t protect yourself, right?”
Having a nerve hit twice, Totsuka deepened his wry smile.
“Ah-…. yeah…” Saying that with a sigh, he faceplanted on the counter. Being apologized to by Kamamoto earlier still made his heart ache a little.
“Oh, that’s creepy. Isn’t not knowin’ how gloominess feels to the point that it’s irritating your specialty?”
In response to Kusanagi’s exasperated voice, Totsuka twisted his mouth and looked up at Kusanagi while leaving one cheek on the counter.
“Even I have feelings-.”
“Stop that. If you feel down, somehow even I start feelin’ down.”
“Why would you?” Totsuka smiled wryly. Come to think of it, he recalled being told something like that in the past.
He raised his hand up as though to block out the shop’s light. With the light shining through it, the insides of his hand looked a bit red.
“…even though I’m supposed to have received powers from King like everyone else, I hardly have any use in fights.”
Totsuka not only had very little power, but his physical abilities were also almost no different than when he was a normal human. It was at a level that one could call him just a normal civilian who could use fire and heat for some little magic tricks.
“Honestly, you probably ain’t suited for Homura.”
Being told that frankly, Totsuka made a pathetic face.
“Kusanagi-san, that actually kind of seriously hurts my feelings.”
“Nah, I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anythin’.”
Kusanagi smiled and reached his hand out across the counter.
“That’s exactly why we need you, isn’t it?”
His hand stroked Totsuka’s head roughly. Totsuka smiled wryly and tried to lean away.
Back when they first met- back when Totsuka was a middleschooler younger than Yata and company, he felt like he had been treated this way a lot. At the time, to him Kusanagi had looked like an adult, but when Homura was born, and lots of boys joined up, all of a sudden Totsuka was categorized as an ‘adult’ along with Kusanagi.
“Anyway, stay here tonight. I won’t be here tomorrow mornin’, so have the shop be closed.”
“…are you going out somewhere?”
“Pretty much.”
Kusanagi thinly exhaled some cigarette smoke, and smiled at Totsuka like he was plotting something.
“Totsuka, if you’re free tomorrow, take Anna-chan out somewhere and drag Mikoto along.”
“Eh?”
Kusanagi leaned out on the counter and whispered something into Totsuka’s ear.
+++++++++
He saw a dream of drowning.
Suou opened his eyes when he thought ‘I can’t breathe’. Along with his awakening, his inability to breathe vanished, and his breath came back. It wasn’t a dream worth getting nervous over, he only coolly thought that it was a nightmare different from the usual.
But, he got kind of nervous when he opened his eyes and saw what was in front of him.
“…hey.”
Suou had been sleeping in the room turned into a closet on the second floor. He had been asleep on a sofa that was ripped and had its cotton falling out, but for some reason, stretched out on his stomach now was Anna, who was supposed to be sleeping with Honami.
“Hey…. what are you doing?”
On top of that, Anna was shaking. Intensely. Suou frowned, grabbed her shoulder, and forced her to raise her head. Her face was white and her eyes were wide.
“…Anna.”
He tried calling her name. Her eyes waveringly looked in his direction. Suou wasn’t sure what to do in the face of those relying eyes. Unable to think of what else to do to Anna, who looked like she might go into convulsions at any time, he pulled her to his chest as though hugging her. He could feel her unnaturally high pulse. But, that sped-up heartrate slowly calmed down to match his.
Her chilled body also began to warm up thanks to Suou’s bodyheat and began to stop shivering.
“Did you see a scary dream or something?”
Anna nodded with her face still buried in Suou’s chest.
“Was it my fault?”
Anna had fallen because she ‘Connected’ with Suou. And on top of that, she was sharing his nightmares. He was concerned that it was because of that, but Anna nodded this time, her nose still stuck to him.
“Mikoto’s dreams are fine.”
“Then, what’s wrong?”
“…”
Anna fell silent. Suou felt even more helpless. He didn’t know how to comfort a child trembling after seeing a nightmare. He had hugged her to himself to begin with, but even if she calmed down like that, he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Feeling troubled in a way he hadn’t for years, Suou stood up carrying Anna on his hip.
Since she went out of her way to come here, she probably didn’t want to be taken to Honami. While still carrying her like luggage, he went down the stairs.
It was dark, but the sky outside was beginning to light up, and he was able to see the inside of the bar. He found a lumpy white blanket on the sofa.
Suou went over to that, and put Anna down on it.
“Mmph!” The blanket groaned.
The white ball squirmed around, and Totsuka’s face came out.
“Eh, what…?”
Looking around while half-asleep, he discovered Anna on top of him and opened his eyes wide.
“Anna-chan? What’s up?”
“She was there when I woke up. Do something about it.”
After having it shoved off on him, Totsuka looked at Suou with a sleepy but exasperated expression, and then shifted around so he could sit up while being careful not to make Anna fall.
“You can’t sleep?”
Totsuka unsuspectingly asked while reaching out, and touched Anna’s shoulder. Right then, his fingers jumped like they had touched something hot.
He breathed in sharply.
Totsuka’s fingers, which he had pulled away from Anna while twisting his face a bit, had turned red as though they were burned. Suou wrinkled his brow. Looking at Totsuka’s fingers, Anna’s face turned white like earlier.
Totsuka reacted quickly. As if to tell her there was nothing to be worried about, he hugged Anna who was looking afraid.
“Ah-, it’s okay, it’s okay. Right now, that was probably something like a power overflow, but that’s really common. Anna’s just now wasn’t anything big.”
A power overflow. Probably. However, that was still strange. It was possible for something like just now to happen when the red clansmen, who have flames inside their bodies, failed to control their powers. But Anna was supposed to have clairvoyant powers. So why was Totsuka ‘Burned’?
Totsuka was apparently wondering the same thing. While still holding Anna, he made eye contact with Suou. After thinking for a while, he rouched for his terminal, which was on the table. It showed on the screen that it was half past four in the morning. It was too early, but technically counted as morning.
“Anna-chan, wanna go back to sleep?”
She shook her head in reply.
“Then, it’s a bit early, but let’s just get up. What do you want for breakfast?” Letting Anna down, Totsuka got up from the sofa with a smile. From behind Totsuka, who was interacting cheerfully with Anna, Suou looked at her quietly.
++++++++++++++
She had seen a dream.
Maybe a nightmare.
But that wasn’t the sort of dream that showed one’s uneasiness, like Suou’s, it was a dream that showed something that had happened in reality as it was.
She thought she couldn’t be with Honami. She thought that if she were with that person, it would be okay. The person who had a very pretty red. The one person who held a color Anna could certainly feel the existence of. Anna quietly turned her eyes away.
…that’s no good. She couldn’t expect anything. She couldn’t reach her hand out.
Anna could ‘See’ a wide world. However, the world she could ‘Touch’ was very small.
She looked up at Totsuka, who was putting bread in the toaster. His fingers were long and thin. It was the fingers that had touched her a moment ago. Totsuka was acting like there wasn’t anything wrong, but those fingers of his were red.
The people here were warm.
She couldn’t let the people here touch what was inside of her.
Anna closed her eyes. Quietly, willfully, she closed up in the world inside of herself. So that what was inside her wouldn’t hurt anyone.
So she wouldn’t let her voice slip out.
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